A Midsummer's Nightmare (Act 3, Scene 1)

Dear me, it's been so long since I've done one of these. Apologies for the hiatus, blame my slow classmates. I've already sent my expert sharks to chew them up.

And now, off we go! Bottom and the other Mechanicals crash into Titania's forest bed and start practicing. Well, before they start practicing, they have to figure out how not to scare the ladies with the double suicide and the lion in their play. Bottom is woefully intelligent as always and suggests adding a disclaimer that the characters are only characters, no harm done!

(I actually don't mind Bottom committing suicide. He's done nothing but make a literal ass of himself and increase my test revision time.)

Apparently, my teacher thinks that Bottom trying not to scare the ladies is due to his 'good nature'. I say it's because he wants to keep his head (not as a donkey's, though), but whatever.

They go on practicing, messing up the script a bit more, and Puck comes by. I actually quite like Puck right now, because he voices what everyone is thinking and says, "This is ridiculous." Then a little fairy dust and Bottom landed himself a donkey head!

Teacher: So what is the significance of Donkey being — wait, no, Bottom. Sorry.

Me: Muahahahahaha. [proceeds to write 'Donkey' instead of 'Bottom' for the rest of this scene.]

So Donkey comes out and everyone runs away, which shows that they have more sense than Donkey, who is ambling around and wakes Titania up. Whoopsie. Oberon smeared some love juice on her eyes last time round, so she falls in love with Donkey. Yikes.

Donkey isn't too happy either and wants to head back to the town city of Athens, but Titania absolutely forbids it since she luuurrves him. She will now turn him into an "airy fairy" (direct quote from my teacher, who is most amusing) and he'll live with her happily ever after! Yay!

Donkey protests a little about how she has no reason to love him, but Titania shuts him up quickly with her "crazy love talk" (another direct quote) and summons her fairies: Peaseblossom, Mustardseed, Moth and Cobweb. Donkey redeems himself slightly by making a couple of long overdue lame puns about their names.

Titania, a little miffed, orders her fairies to bring all sorts of delicacies and pluck wings off butterflies to shield him from the moonlight. Ick. She then orders the fairies to tie up Bottom's tongue and "Off with his head!"

If only. She rambles on about how the moon, the symbol of chastity, is going to weep because she wants to sleep with Bottom. And on that rather icky and very Shakespeare-like note, we end this scene.

Act 3, Scene 2: The lovers bicker and fall asleep randomly.