Hahahaha. This is funny. I've never thought of shovels or spades as having a personality, or being able to dig graves or be pursued or fend for their families. This was really well done, if I found these in a bookshop I might (and only might, mind you) be sold on the premise.
Thank you, Shar! I think the original writing prompt was to see what would happen if you took away all the feelings and agency, but pfft, shovels are clearly the best. It would make for a fun parody XD
Clearly, whoever came up with that advice did not watch Blue's Clues, because there was actually a character who was a shovel on that show. His best friend was Pail. But anyway.
These made me laugh, although these shovels seem rather monopolized by grave digging! There are lots of other purposes for shovels. Digging spontaneous pools. Creating trenches for warfare. Flowerbeds. Cellar creations. Tunneling into banks. Hitting people on the head when they are threatening people. Implements to use in battle. Thanksgiving decorations. Soil sample-getters. Poor surgical supplies. Implements of fence repair. Something to put pails on so you can carry water home. Paint can openers. Sand castle tools. Makeshift pie server.
Your shovels have a lot of death, is all I'm saying. Which is not bad, of course. And remarkably appropriate for all five of these stories. XD I could easily see all of these still being wild successes, with the exception of I'm not sure how mobile shovels are. I think we have a shovel. It sits in our garage and does nothing. But beyond that, this is still a fun idea!
(And, for the record, it is not the most writing-high idea I've ever read, so you're good. :) )
Oh wow, really? I have not watched Blue's Clues either, it seems, but hmm. Shovels are such wonderful characters.
Well, my blog description DOES say "murder" in it, so clearly I forgot to consider the more innocuous uses of a shovel. Although if there's pie involved, I can forgive it. And pfft, novels with death are the best kind of novels.
(I am interested in hearing that idea. Or maybe not, for the sake of my sanity.)
Replacing a character with "shovel" is such a weird piece of writing advice, because I don't really understand how that could show whether they're needed or not. I mean ... they just wouldn't have a name? They'd be "shovel" instead? I don't know. Myabe I'm not getting it, haha!
I loved the Lord of the Rings one! :D I just binge watched the three movies, so I am on such a LotR wave of feels, so it was fun to see it re-imagined in a totally comical way! XD
Ah no, it's just assumed that shovels have no personality or agency. Which clearly is not true, from my blurbs XD OH WOW, LOTR MARATHON. That's hardcore -- I've only done Hobbit myself, but I swear I will do LOTR sometime. Parodies are clearly the best XD Thanks for dropping by, Chiara!
THIS POST IS A THING OF BEAUTY. (Have you noticed how all my comments on your posts start with excited statements in all caps?)
Then again, I'm also slightly writing-high right now, because I'm currently revising poems for my mentorship portfolio and also trying to EXPLAIN my revisions. (Yes, they want explanations. It's kind of stressful to have to make my writerly train of thought sound coherent.)
So this is not only a thing of beauty but a VERY WELL-TIMED thing of beauty. The last lines in the Harry Potter and LotR ones—oh man. I was going to crack up in front of my laptop screen, which I stopped doing ages ago because it makes my family very concerned for my sanity + makes them think I'm sleep-deprived. (WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SLEEP DEPRIVED. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SLEEP DEPRIVATION HAHAHA—)
The only other potential shovel-blurb I can think of is Twilight: Shovel Edition. As in this werewolf and vampire in a tiny PNW town keep fighting over a very plain, ordinary, dependent shovel—but ehh, probably because they're picking off each others' races one by one and using the shovel to hide the evidence.
(See, what did I tell you? Writing-high and leaving all-over-the-place blog comments to boot. :O)
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. (And the caps are a wonderful thing to behold, so do continue.)
Wow, explaining revisions? That does sound tough -- normally it's just "it looked really horrible the old way so I tweaked some things randomly and maybe it looks possibly a little better perhaps?" XD I'm glad I nearly made you laugh, which is totally a comeback for your "a wild Chantilly appears" remark a while ago. And here, have some sleep and cookies. You'll feel better.
THAT IS LITERALLY FABULOUS, THOUGH. I wonder if the non-romantic bits of the Twilight plot would still work like that! :P
I'm flattered by your concern for my wellbeing, but why do you think a lunatic is not in charge of the blog right now? ;P It's great, I suppose, that this post was unique and made you laugh. Even if it was weird.
Aaaanyways, this was certainly the weirdest post I've ever read hahaha. Like your blurbs; they kinda reminded me of Loony Blurbs. Well, Loony Blurbs with shovels.
... that is. For the luckier ones who have graves, that is. And ooh yes, I hadn't noticed at all. I do so love Loony Blurbs, even if I don't participate much.
This post is hilarious! Lord of the Rings with a shovel? Sign me up please! And "But never mind that. The real question is, how do you bury a shovel?", that is sheer genius. Thanks for the laugh Alyssa
OMG why did I only see this now? ;P I have never heard of such a tip that would tell you to replace your characters with shovels, but i think it's pretty hilarious! I love the Harry Potter one. ("Yer a shovel, Harry." HAHAHA.) I love the other ones as well, and the way you worded up everything is perfect ^-^ Can you make more posts like this? LOL I seriously enjoy reading posts like these! <3
It was actually a pretty interesting tip to test whether your characters have agency, but my mind ran away with it. And I'm so happy you liked these blurbs. These posts are really based on how often I get inspired, and it'll depend on whether my audience at large enjoys it, but I do hope I can! Thank you for dropping by, Jillian!
This is FABULOUS! How did I miss this until today!? DYING. Especially Katniss, of course. I am just picturing this weird shovel with a braid hanging down the handle hahha. And of course she'd win, because she could use HERSELF as a weapon. Seriously, this post is GENIUS, I am so mad I didn't include it in this week's links- next week though, because I do NOT want people to miss it!
Thank you, Shannon! Hmm, someone else mentioned missing it, so I wonder if Bloglovin' had an issue or the like? I shall double-check. And that is exactly the image I was picturing, so I'm glad you feel the same :D Aww, thank you so much for the preemptive recognition!
You... did this perfectly. I had no idea what I was coming into, Alyssa, but this was beyond any hopes or dreams or anticipation I could have possibly come up with. I want that Harry Potter version badly. I mean, it might make me look totally obsessed with the series (how interesting could the adventures of a shovel get? Probably a lot more interesting than I just gave credit for, truthfully), but you just made it sound so completely marvellous. And The Hunger Games one! You are epic and marvellous. Epic and Marvellous. xx
I'm so happy I managed to amuse you. The adventures of a shovel WOULD be fabulous ... it would only be better if David Handler aka Lemony Snicket wrote it. Thank you Very much for The random Capitals XD
All right...here's my own shovel blurb for The Girl of Fire and Thorns:
Elisa is no ordinary princes--she is God's chosen shovel, signified by the godstone embedded in her handle. But the princess of metal and wood has never been or done anything remarkable. Her handle is too plump; her blade too bulky to be considered attractive.
So when she is to be married off to the handsome non-shovel ruler of a neighboring kingdom, insecurities plague her. For the king is looking for a capable queen--not a garden tool.
When dark magic threatens the kingdom, it's up to Elisa to shovel their way out of trouble. If she doesn't die young.
Most of the shovels do.
Pahaha. Yours were better, but I can see how much fun you had with this.
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Hahahaha. This is funny. I've never thought of shovels or spades as having a personality, or being able to dig graves or be pursued or fend for their families. This was really well done, if I found these in a bookshop I might (and only might, mind you) be sold on the premise.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Shar! I think the original writing prompt was to see what would happen if you took away all the feelings and agency, but pfft, shovels are clearly the best. It would make for a fun parody XD
DeleteI'm not quite sure what I just read.
ReplyDeleteBut I love it. (Especially the Harry Potter one, skeptical as I am of that series.)
I'm not quire sure either. But I AM happy you enjoyed it!
DeleteXD Oh my.
ReplyDeleteClearly, whoever came up with that advice did not watch Blue's Clues, because there was actually a character who was a shovel on that show. His best friend was Pail. But anyway.
These made me laugh, although these shovels seem rather monopolized by grave digging! There are lots of other purposes for shovels. Digging spontaneous pools. Creating trenches for warfare. Flowerbeds. Cellar creations. Tunneling into banks. Hitting people on the head when they are threatening people. Implements to use in battle. Thanksgiving decorations. Soil sample-getters. Poor surgical supplies. Implements of fence repair. Something to put pails on so you can carry water home. Paint can openers. Sand castle tools. Makeshift pie server.
Your shovels have a lot of death, is all I'm saying. Which is not bad, of course. And remarkably appropriate for all five of these stories. XD I could easily see all of these still being wild successes, with the exception of I'm not sure how mobile shovels are. I think we have a shovel. It sits in our garage and does nothing. But beyond that, this is still a fun idea!
(And, for the record, it is not the most writing-high idea I've ever read, so you're good. :) )
Oh wow, really? I have not watched Blue's Clues either, it seems, but hmm. Shovels are such wonderful characters.
DeleteWell, my blog description DOES say "murder" in it, so clearly I forgot to consider the more innocuous uses of a shovel. Although if there's pie involved, I can forgive it. And pfft, novels with death are the best kind of novels.
(I am interested in hearing that idea. Or maybe not, for the sake of my sanity.)
Replacing a character with "shovel" is such a weird piece of writing advice, because I don't really understand how that could show whether they're needed or not. I mean ... they just wouldn't have a name? They'd be "shovel" instead? I don't know. Myabe I'm not getting it, haha!
ReplyDeleteI loved the Lord of the Rings one! :D I just binge watched the three movies, so I am on such a LotR wave of feels, so it was fun to see it re-imagined in a totally comical way! XD
Ah no, it's just assumed that shovels have no personality or agency. Which clearly is not true, from my blurbs XD OH WOW, LOTR MARATHON. That's hardcore -- I've only done Hobbit myself, but I swear I will do LOTR sometime. Parodies are clearly the best XD Thanks for dropping by, Chiara!
DeleteTHIS POST IS A THING OF BEAUTY. (Have you noticed how all my comments on your posts start with excited statements in all caps?)
ReplyDeleteThen again, I'm also slightly writing-high right now, because I'm currently revising poems for my mentorship portfolio and also trying to EXPLAIN my revisions. (Yes, they want explanations. It's kind of stressful to have to make my writerly train of thought sound coherent.)
So this is not only a thing of beauty but a VERY WELL-TIMED thing of beauty. The last lines in the Harry Potter and LotR ones—oh man. I was going to crack up in front of my laptop screen, which I stopped doing ages ago because it makes my family very concerned for my sanity + makes them think I'm sleep-deprived. (WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SLEEP DEPRIVED. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SLEEP DEPRIVATION HAHAHA—)
The only other potential shovel-blurb I can think of is Twilight: Shovel Edition. As in this werewolf and vampire in a tiny PNW town keep fighting over a very plain, ordinary, dependent shovel—but ehh, probably because they're picking off each others' races one by one and using the shovel to hide the evidence.
(See, what did I tell you? Writing-high and leaving all-over-the-place blog comments to boot. :O)
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. (And the caps are a wonderful thing to behold, so do continue.)
DeleteWow, explaining revisions? That does sound tough -- normally it's just "it looked really horrible the old way so I tweaked some things randomly and maybe it looks possibly a little better perhaps?" XD I'm glad I nearly made you laugh, which is totally a comeback for your "a wild Chantilly appears" remark a while ago. And here, have some sleep and cookies. You'll feel better.
THAT IS LITERALLY FABULOUS, THOUGH. I wonder if the non-romantic bits of the Twilight plot would still work like that! :P
HAHAHA. I bookmarked this for more laughing in the future. :') Oh my...I'm actually lost for words. Brilliant. Brilliantly done. :)
ReplyDelete*flourishes bow* Why thank you, Jo. Thank you very much indeed.
DeleteWhen I read the title of this post, I must admit that my first thought was "Alyssa has been kidnapped and a lunatic has taken over her blog".
ReplyDeleteThen I actually read the post, and I can honestly say that I have never read one quite like it.
(I've also never laughed as much at one, but anyways)
I'm flattered by your concern for my wellbeing, but why do you think a lunatic is not in charge of the blog right now? ;P It's great, I suppose, that this post was unique and made you laugh. Even if it was weird.
Delete"In the game of thrones, you bury or are buried."
ReplyDeleteI mean that's pretty much what actually happens.
Aaaanyways, this was certainly the weirdest post I've ever read hahaha. Like your blurbs; they kinda reminded me of Loony Blurbs. Well, Loony Blurbs with shovels.
... that is. For the luckier ones who have graves, that is. And ooh yes, I hadn't noticed at all. I do so love Loony Blurbs, even if I don't participate much.
DeleteThis post is hilarious! Lord of the Rings with a shovel? Sign me up please! And "But never mind that. The real question is, how do you bury a shovel?", that is sheer genius. Thanks for the laugh Alyssa
ReplyDeleteThank you, Imogen! I'm happy the post made you laugh :D
DeleteOMG why did I only see this now? ;P I have never heard of such a tip that would tell you to replace your characters with shovels, but i think it's pretty hilarious! I love the Harry Potter one. ("Yer a shovel, Harry." HAHAHA.) I love the other ones as well, and the way you worded up everything is perfect ^-^ Can you make more posts like this? LOL I seriously enjoy reading posts like these! <3
ReplyDeleteJillian @ Jillian's Books
It was actually a pretty interesting tip to test whether your characters have agency, but my mind ran away with it. And I'm so happy you liked these blurbs. These posts are really based on how often I get inspired, and it'll depend on whether my audience at large enjoys it, but I do hope I can! Thank you for dropping by, Jillian!
DeleteThis is FABULOUS! How did I miss this until today!? DYING. Especially Katniss, of course. I am just picturing this weird shovel with a braid hanging down the handle hahha. And of course she'd win, because she could use HERSELF as a weapon. Seriously, this post is GENIUS, I am so mad I didn't include it in this week's links- next week though, because I do NOT want people to miss it!
ReplyDeleteShannon @ It Starts At Midnight
Thank you, Shannon! Hmm, someone else mentioned missing it, so I wonder if Bloglovin' had an issue or the like? I shall double-check. And that is exactly the image I was picturing, so I'm glad you feel the same :D Aww, thank you so much for the preemptive recognition!
DeleteYou... did this perfectly. I had no idea what I was coming into, Alyssa, but this was beyond any hopes or dreams or anticipation I could have possibly come up with. I want that Harry Potter version badly. I mean, it might make me look totally obsessed with the series (how interesting could the adventures of a shovel get? Probably a lot more interesting than I just gave credit for, truthfully), but you just made it sound so completely marvellous. And The Hunger Games one! You are epic and marvellous. Epic and Marvellous. xx
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy I managed to amuse you. The adventures of a shovel WOULD be fabulous ... it would only be better if David Handler aka Lemony Snicket wrote it. Thank you Very much for The random Capitals XD
DeleteThanks for the laugh! That was awesome!
ReplyDeleteAll right...here's my own shovel blurb for The Girl of Fire and Thorns:
Elisa is no ordinary princes--she is God's chosen shovel, signified by the godstone embedded in her handle. But the princess of metal and wood has never been or done anything remarkable. Her handle is too plump; her blade too bulky to be considered attractive.
So when she is to be married off to the handsome non-shovel ruler of a neighboring kingdom, insecurities plague her. For the king is looking for a capable queen--not a garden tool.
When dark magic threatens the kingdom, it's up to Elisa to shovel their way out of trouble. If she doesn't die young.
Most of the shovels do.
Pahaha. Yours were better, but I can see how much fun you had with this.
Ally @ The Scribbling Sprite
You're welcome; thank YOU for dropping by, Ally! And OH. Your shovel blurb is lovely :D I haven't read TGOFAT, but I do want to now XD
DeleteThis was so hilarious I think I peed myself!
ReplyDeleteAhaha, thank you, Sara! :D
DeleteI am not sure what the heck I just read, but I loved every word of it. Kudos to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Inge! XD XD
DeleteWhy is this so hilarious? I don't understand why but I laughed way more than I should be.
ReplyDeleteJennilyn @ RurouniJenniReads
Eh, I'm not sure what was going through my head either, but so long as you laughed :D
DeleteI laughed too much at this XD
ReplyDeleteI especially liked the Game of Thrones one and the Harry Potter one. "Yer a shovel, Harry." Perfect.
Thank you, Kelly! That was the first line that popped into my head of this blog post, so it's fitting it should be the most hilarious XD
Delete