Snazzy Snippets: A Closer Look at Matryoshka and Sparse Drafts

So I'm linking up with my own link-up. It sounds weird, but hey, my link-up, my rules.

(Okay, so really it's a collab project with Emily @ Loony Literate, but still.)

Snazzy Snippets is a chance for writers to share snapshots of their writing around certain themes. You can find out more and link up with us here!

Today I'm sharing snippets from the first draft of Matryoshka, which I first introduced in this #WatchMeWrite. You can read all related posts here. Without further ado:

A snippet that shows your MC’s personality

"You’ve always wanted to go to the capital," Thomas' mother said.

"We want a great many things." He wanted to sail across the world, learn a thousand languages and taste as many wines, slay exotic beasts and raise a city in his name, make promises and sell his heart to keep them, kiss a girl with hair of sunlight. He wanted a fairytale and the stars snatched his father.

He was back now to defy the stars.

His mother rewarded him with a thin-lipped smile. "Mallister’s head most of all."

That paragraph right there is a heavy dose of foreshadowing. I had so much fun with it.

A snippet featuring the villain

Well, to be honest, I'm not sure that Thomas can't be the villain as well. Another POV character, Kim, definitely views him as such.

Soldier: *smiling*

K: Stop smiling.

Soldier: Why? We're at the Dpt of Justice, no one can see us.

K: Stop. Smiling. *is watching Thomas* *approaches him carefully*

“Peace be with you,” the boy said in Derroni, pressing his hand to his heart. “I’m looking for the justiciar.” His [skin colour] face was too long and solemn to be called handsome, but that crooked smile made a thousand empty promises. That wasn’t why Kim’s heart was racing.

The boy wore the loose white robes of the south and the face of Stanley Mexrenne.

Remember I mentioned my Camp NaNo draft was basically a "sparse draft"? Here's an example in full force. Notable points:

• asterisk-framed actions like cyberspeak
• no true dialogue tags
• shortened names (K = Kim)
• square brackets as I hadn't decided on how exactly to describe Thomas' skin colour

A snippet that’s mostly dialogue

Basically my entire novel is mostly dialogue, since that was the focal point of my sparse drafting method. But here's a cute passage I quite enjoyed writing:

T: Kindness does the dead no favours.

D: And vengeance does? *exasperated*

The whiplash reply [elevated] Thomas’ opinion of Daniel at once. T: We began on a bad note, Dan, and I apologise. Perhaps we might begin again. *hand on heart*

Dan: *shrugs* sure. The Chancellor sympathises with some parties in less desirable parts of town, but she is set against violence. I might take you there and you could ask them to stand down? Since you serve the same cause.

T: Take me where?

D: The abbey. It’s abandoned, but the rebels have turned it into their base. Just behind the old market by the sea.

T: The old market is the black market. [in less modern but equally blunt terms]

D: You’re quite sharp for a southern boy fresh to the capital.

T: *thinks* You’re quite rude for a Chancellor’s assistant.

This dialogue is way snappier (snazzier, dare I say?) than the time period I'm setting this story in, but that's how it came to me and therefore that's how it's on the paper as a first draft.

Did you link up with Snazzy Snippets? (Hint: you should.) Thoughts on sparse drafting? Was the banter funny?!?

Twitter-sized takeout:

• @AlyssaC_HK linked up with Snazzy Snippets and shared her #CampNaNoWriMo draft. (Click to Tweet)
• Read @AlyssaC_HK's snippets of broken dreams, bastard boys and banter. (Click to Tweet)

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